Oh ladies, those of us who are going through “the change of life”….it’s tough at times isn’t it? None of us knew what we were in for when we heard our mothers talking about hot flashes, mood swings, chocolate cravings, and weight gain.
“While we may know what to expect when it comes to symptoms and life experience, they will not know what hit them when we suddenly turn on them for not taking out the trash.”
We were foolish enough to think that it might not happen to us, that we would be able to escape these uncomfortable symptoms and weepy moments that we saw our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts experience as we wallowed in the foolishness of youth.
Let’s face it, menopause affects all of us in some way, and if we are in a relationship, it can affect our partners as well. While we may know what to expect when it comes to symptoms and life experience, they will not know what hit them when we suddenly turn on them for not taking out the trash.
Let’s do our partners a favor; let’s construct a “navigating menopause” cheat sheet for our husbands so that they can weather the storm with us and hopefully help us to strengthen our relationship through this time of change.
Husbands And Menopause: How It Can Affect Your Relationship
With all of the physical and emotional symptoms that this life change can bring, it can significantly impact your relationship with your partner. When it comes to husbands and menopause, men are ill prepared to handle these changes with a partner unless they have experienced living with someone else who has gone through it.
This is a time of life when women don’t feel particularly good about themselves, and this lower self esteem can translate into mood swings, irritability, and uncertainty. In addition, fluctuating hormones in women can cause them to lose interest in sex, making it difficult to maintain connection and intimacy throughout.
This hormonal fluctuation can also contribute to vaginal dryness, making intercourse downright painful for women. Staying committed to educating your partner about these changes and communicating your feelings throughout this trying period will help the two of you to understand where each of you are coming from in hopes that you can find stronger common ground to stand on together.
Important Things My Husband Needs To Know About Me Right Now
“You need to speak up if you feel like I’m over the line!”
You are most likely wishing that there was a list of things you could gift your husband with; some talking points that will help him to understand what you are going through. Rest assured; show him this article, and he’ll not only appreciate your strength and tenacity, he’ll likely have a deeper understanding of what you are going through. Here are some things we’ll tell your husband together about this time of life:
1. I may have lost interest in sex right now, but it’s not about you.
I have fluctuating hormones, and this decreased estrogen production makes me less responsive to your advances. Right now, sex for me can be downright painful, which is another turnoff. Don’t worry, there are some things we can do together to spice up our love life and create intimacy in other ways that don’t make me so uncomfortable.
2. I can be an emotional mess right now, plagued with feelings of self pity and doubt, and although I don’t expect you to join me there, I do expect that you understand that I must ride this wave and acknowledge that these feelings are biochemically valid and that they, too, will pass…..just like the days of my youth and beauty (sniff sniff).
3. You need to speak up if you feel like I’m over the line! Your silence is not helping your situation, and it’s not serving to bring me back to reality when I’m tempted to go off the deep end for awhile. If I’m being unreasonable, say so, but do it gently. Don’t add to my anxiety and frustration by responding in a way that will exacerbate the problem…..please.
4. This is not an “end of the road” experience for me, and it shouldn’t be for you or for our relationship, either. Why can’t we approach menopause from a celebratory point of view and host a big party lauding the fact that we’ve made it this far, we’re tackling the challenges of this time of life, and we are looking forward to wonderful times ahead? Changing our perception about these changes will most certainly help to reframe the way we experience them.
The Importance Of Prioritizing Your Relationship Right Now
“Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs.”
These changes don’t have to spell trouble for your relationship with your husband; partnerships go through seasons and transitions, and this is just one of those times when you learn to weather changes together.
Communicating through it all is extremely important. A husband or partner can be supportive and compassionate while watching the various stages and moments that this time brings. Asking questions in an attempt to understand while extending a little grace every now and then will help a woman realize that her husband is trying to connect with her.
Women should be compassionate when viewing their physical symptoms and emotional ups and downs, knowing that although it can be difficult at times, there will be an end to this process eventually.
Moving Through Together
Committing to prioritize your relationship at this time and communicating both trials and triumphs will help the two of you grow closer, looking forward to a rich and fulfilling times ahead with each other. Women, have compassion on yourselves and on your partners.
Husbands, empathize with and care for your women at this time, you both have an incredible opportunity to grow as a result of this shared experience.
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